The Unease of Inaction

I sit and watch the motorbikes whizzing past like a swarm of insects. Were it not for the noise of their motors and the honking of horns, the analogy of a school of fish might be more apropos. As it is, the buzzing of the mid-day travelers reminds of a mass of mosquitos, all going different places, with different agendas.

The quiet cafe where I sit and reflect is a nice respite from the unrelenting heat and humidity. But it is unsatisfying. Perhaps because everyone else seems to be in a constant state of motion, my relative inactivity seems slothful. Many people here do the same; sit in a shady spot and watch the time and the people pass them by. But I am not from here, I feel like I have not earned the right to sit and watch. My purpose here is not to remain idle, to be a passive observer of the world around me. I came to Vietnam to explore, both the country and myself.

This city is a paradoxical place. On the one hand, many people have a relaxed attitude towards life; they are content to sit and wait for the day to come to them. Yet most people on the road have no patience for things like red lights, pedestrians, or even cars crossing their path. Their purpose is singular; to get to their destination as soon as possible, other drivers and traffic signals are a mere inconvenience.

One of the other strange things about this city that I still do not understand is how closely you can find wealth living alongside poverty. On a street where homeless women sell vegetables next to the cot they sleep on you'll see a brand new Mercedes or BMW. And to own a vehicle at all is a sign of wealth; there are huge tariffs on vehicles imported here, any vehicle costs 200% what it would cost in any other country. In America the classes are fairly segregated, you won't see any homeless wandering the streets of Beverly Hills, or find a Bentley cruising down a seedy street on the wrong side of the tracks.

I'm having a hard time trusting people. I think there are numerous reasons for this; my 2nd day here I was almost robbed, every block there is a motorbike taximan heckling me to let him take me to my destination, the communication barrier varies person to person but generally is prohibitive. Not to mention that before I came I was warned by several people and online blogs that many/most locals see my white skin and assume I'm a walking ATM and that with the right sales pitch they can get something out of me.

For example, last night I met up with two young Vietnamese, a boy and a girl, both seniors in university. They told me they'd take me to a really good BBQ place, and to hop on the back of the girl's bike. They seemed like very nice people (and they turned out to be), but for a while on the ride through the city to a fairly distant district, I wondered whether I was being led into a trap. And that's not fair to them, the fears stemmed only from my insecurity and the close call that I had shortly after arriving in the city.

They took me to an outdoor BBQ garden about 15 minutes from the area of town where I'm staying. I was glad to get out of the touristy area of town and get a first-hand experience in a very local area. I was several shades lighter than the second most pale person there; for some people that would be scary but I appreciated being let into their lives rather than have the situation altered to accommodate my western predilections.

We cooked beef, pork, goat breast, octopus, and okra over a makeshift table-top grill, sharing beers and stories about our home countries. Like most young Vietnamese these two were eager to get more experience speaking English with a native speaker; more and more the ability to converse in English is a deciding factor in one's success in today's global marketplace.

If you open yourself up to new experiences, allowing them to either be good, bad, or in-between, you'll learn much more than you would if you stuck to what was comfortable and familiar. You'll learn about other people, other perspectives, other cultures, and more importantly, about yourself.

Wherever you're reading this I hope you're doing well both physically and emotionally, and if you're not, I hope that you find the strength to change that.